Down with the Dip.

what a crappy sleep, I totally didnt have a solid sleep last night and usually when that happens in the early morning hours i tend to have weird dreams,, well dreams that i can at least remember.. i had a dream last night that i was trying to find Beyonce as she was preforming in Vancouver that night. By checking out her Twitter she mentioned she liked how she could find this specific food brand in Vancouver and it was near 'Daves hotel' or something, so i figured it out... And then it was out the door to catch up to her. I was running around with this black makeup artist who would do my makeup in random places and i tried to glue on some eyelashes and i ended up almost gluing my eye closed. We were doing makeup on the side of the road in east Van (Salusburry Drive and Pender for my east van peeps.) And 3 Eminem looking kids walked by screaming gay and then one crossed the street and farted and i laught showing him that i thought that was funny and he was so cool just incase he was thinking about coming and kicking the shit outta me. Then next I remember my makeup artist and I were at an airport out in the runway area with no planes and we were digging a huge hole and my makeup artist friend turned into Colin Farrel, Then next I remember we were at my old old house on 60th avenue and in the basement where i use to live. it looked like how i remember it except there was a high table on the side of the room with 2 chairs and then what looked like 2 other chairs of a different height which were just near the table but couldn't fit cause there was only room for the 2 chairs. After a while I was trying to convince Colin to fuck me but he would but he did agree on masturbating with me so all of a sudden there was a rack of my favorite clothes separating us and i couldn't see him so i kept shuffling the clothes to get a look but he was gone, so i got up and walked towards the other side of the room and noticed the door was ajar and i could recognize some of my moms clothing threw the opening so i went out and my mom had fallen and was plopped sitting horizontal on the bottom stair and her right leg hanging to the floor level. And she has that dead glazed fish eyes thing going on that only dead people i would assume would look like once they die... I felt her skin and she was dead. she dropped a little dishy cup full of my dads holiday dip (which is so good PS) on the floor which hadn't spilled and was intact and she was totally dead and i woke up saying "mom" "mom?"

how fucked..



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i try to not take this symbolism too seriously but it seems to always have some significance, and i think the roots of the symbolism in the dream dictionary do come from some kind of study and meaning, i dont think someone just decided to start giving random things meanings so lemme type out some things i remember..




AIRPORT
To dream of a deserted airport, indicates that your travel plans will be changed or delayed.

MAKEUP
To dream that you are applying make-up, suggests that you are trying to cover up or conceal an aspect of yourself. Alternatively, it indicates that you are putting on your best face forward. You are trying to enhance your self-image and increase your sense of self-confidence.

DIGGING
To dream that you are digging, indicates that you are working too hard to uncover the truth in a problem that is haunting you. You may also be overly preoccupied with trying to find out about yourself , your reputation, and your self-identity. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are working on getting to the root of some issue. Or the dream could be a metaphor to imply an insult.

BASEMENT
To dream that you are in a basement, symbolizes your unconscious mind and intuition. The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction.�It represents primal urges, animalistic desires and basic needs. The dream may also be metaphor for "abasement" or being "debased". Are you feeling humbled or unworthy?
To dream that the basement is in disarray and messy, signifies some confusion in which you need to sort out. It may also represent your perceived faults and shortcomings.

STAIRS
To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs, indicates that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual/emotional/material journey.

MOTHER
To see your mother in your dream, represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.

DEATH
To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.





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As pretty much none of you know I been reflecting inward for a long while now. I started spending my online time studying topics on the universe and how things work in hopes of searching within myself at the same time. I been having a hard time being me, well being the me that i know exists within me. I am a creative person but I rarely created and i hope to tap into and find some kind of inner inspiration, motivation and change..Its frustrating when time is passing but things you been working very hard at have little or no progression. I want to be able to set my creative juice in motion. i wanna fucking juice everywhere so everyone can know whats deep within me because i truly feel like everyone should know how different and unique i am and how creative i can be and how good i can do something when i set out to do it. Its in there and its real and its amazing. I been bringing some change into my life and have decided to move out from roommates into my own place in hopes it make help this situation. I set out to move on august first but i haven;t found anything just yet. i'm not too picky but would prefer a safeish location.. i dont wanna be walking all around Hastings or anything. I hope to stay near my work in East Vancouver so i dont have to purchase a bus pass. Who knows what tomorrow will bring as i know it looks nothing like yesterday.