Help

i dunno why but i cant handle my liquor.. I been trying to not drink now for... wow, for years... but everyday or second day i drink. I would sayi need helpbut realisticly only i can stop myself from drinking. Ontop of that I also cant stop smoking weed. Addictions are crazy and controlling me and it sucks. i raelly do want to be the best me there is but i'm just in such a shitty mind place. My debt is getting larger and my life is getting more and more difficult. In general im' a very happy person until i do raelly stupid things liek get trashed on wensday i dunno what else to say and i dunno what else to do. i tried hibernating and i tried being social nothign seems to satisify me or my mind. i feel like i'm in danger. i feel out of control of my destiny and i feel sorry for myself. i feel like the physicial me is very different then the inner me and all i can do really is watch my psysical me. i been trying for a while now to combine the two and get a hold of my reality but ii end up drowning it in vodka or numbing it with a joint.... fuck this sucks. for how long is this going to go on? what sucks is i dont even know what my issue is and i'm just not learning from my mistakes...